Industry Games

The 30th Summer Olympic Games kicked on this past Friday off in London.  When I was younger, I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast, but then my boobs got too big. At least that gets me a meal in Vegas. 1 Oak is taking advantage of the games by having its own Nightlife Olympics on Tuesday night. What kind of games would the nightlife industry play? If I was in charge, my games would go something like this:

Synchronized swimming: Teams of six made up of security from each nightlife group, guys only. Could you imagine seeing six big guys gracefully dancing in sync?

Bottle relay:  Let’s see how fast and well the staff takes care of a table. Two team members are the guests, and they check in with host. He checks their I.D.s and seats them at a table. A waitress takes the order, delivers the bottle and pours cocktails. The guests drink them down and the anchor of the team, the bussers, come in to clear glasses.

Water equestrian: Back to the water sports, teams of four sit on floatable horses. They have to “ride” the horses across a dayclub pool and back. Hopefully the horses won’t deflate — major party foul.

Weightlifting: This one is for the bar backs. Carrying cases of beer and kegs builds strength, so why not test it? Who could lift a full keg clear over their head? Who could lift the most cases? The strongest guy isn’t always the biggest.

Archery: Everyone knows there’s a constant war between bartenders and servers. Let’s see each of them garnish drinks – from a distance. The goal would be to shoot a lime in the glass, best out of five.

With multiple nightlife groups with a lot of talented staff, it would be hard to say who would take home the gold.