I want anyone reading this to stop and think for a moment. Think about where you were ten years ago. Where you were working? Who were your best friends, perhaps your significant other? What were your goals and dreams? Now… are your best friends the same? Are you still madly in love with the same person? Have you reached your goals? Do you still have the same dreams? Are you happier now or back then? Most likely not because as we grow, life changes, people change, and what we want changes. I still have the same best friends or least keep in contact with them and have added some more. I am definitely not with the guy I was with ten years ago, but if you would have told me at the time I wouldn’t have believed it. I have accomplished my goals with a little bit of alterations, and I’ve been fortunate to make some of my dreams into a reality. I was really happy ten years ago, but I am happy now too. I guess it is a different kind of happiness, even though I’ve always felt there is something missing in my life. I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure one day I’ll figure it out. I never really think about it. I tend to forget the little things unless it is trigger by something.
As I said in my last few blogs, my life is crazy right now. Everything seems to come at once. I’m moving into a residence after two years being in the same place. I feel like a hoarder packing and going through everything. I found pictures from Junior High, cards from past birthdays, and souvenirs from special nights and vacations. It’s hard to believe how much I’ve changed and things I’ve done that I would never do now. It triggered memories that I haven’t thought about in a long time. Throughout the past week, memories kept flooding back.
Last Friday, the SpyOnVegas Hot 100 went down at Wet Republic for the seventh week in a row. The place was packed. It was taken over by sport players and fans. The LA Kings had a bungalow with the Stanley Cup on full display. I took a picture with it, but it wasn’t the first time I had seen it. About six years ago, at bar in Minneapolis, my friend and I got up to VIP where the Stanley Cup was being passed around full of Miller Lite. We drank from it and chatted with hockey players all night. The one time I forgot a camera, and that was before cell phones had cameras on them. On top of the hockey team being at Wet Republic, there were various football players there including Ron Gronkowski from the New England Patriots. He was a guest judge for the event. My roommate is a huge fan, being from Boston. He was really nice and assisted to help announce the finalists. I also met Clay Matthews from Green Bay Packers. I am not a Packers fan… I am a traitor to my home state. I grew up on the border of Minnesota so I’m a Vikings fan, but I have been to Lambeau Field. In 2003, I went to the opening game, Packers vs. Vikings, and Lambeau Field was premiering its new renovations. It was a beautiful day and the Vikings won. I remember the news was waiting for a fight to break out between fans after the game. They were even instigating it. They interviewed my friend asking if he was angry and witnessed any fights. Please… we were in Wisconsin not Chicago. Fights rarely broke out there.
Saturday I picked up Cait and we headed to a local bar. I have been going to this bar for quite some time as it is right around the corner from my apartment. Imagine my surprise when I walked in one day to see a past, what do I call him… flirtation? We hung out for about five months, never slept together but had some fun. I was so infatuated with him, so good looking. We stopped hanging out when I found out he had a girlfriend, and she tried attacking me one night. It was five years ago, I am very much over it. Even though when I see him, I still think he is extremely attractive. It’s surprising to me because I have dated some gorgeous guys, but the moment they hurt me or I’m over it, I’m no longer attracted to them at all. Maybe it is because I never had “feelings” for him; I knew he was trouble from the start. It’s just weird when I see him and all the crazy moments we had. I almost find it humorous as we were so young and immature. My first “Vegas” guy and unhealthy situation, you think I would’ve learned my lesson.
My brother got married yesterday. The wedding was beautiful. I got really emotional watching him make his commitment to love and cherish his wife for the rest of his life. It brought back memories of when I was engaged and ready to make that commitment myself. Obviously things didn’t work out between my ex and me, but it was for the better. It was also sad because none of my family came to the wedding. It’s a once in lifetime experience that shouldn’t be missed. At least I got to be there for him and hopefully made his day happier. My brother said I was sad because it changed my mind about wanting to get married someday. I laughed. It didn’t make me change my view on marriage, but I will admit it did make me realize not having someone special in my life is hard to accept. However, I would rather be alone than settle just because it can be lonely at time. I would rather be in the kind of relationship I want rather than needing someone there.
It can be hard in life to see things and people change. It can be rough letting people go and dealing with change, but “don’t worry about the people in your past, there’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future.” Memories are priceless and experiences shape you into the person you are today. As life continues to move on, keep grounded and appreciate what happens. Make it happen that in ten years from now you are the person you want to become. Keep the people that care, get rid of the ones that don’t, do the things that make you happy and be someone that people will remember for a lifetime.